After waking, I rolled around in bed for a few minutes, stretching and untangling my limbs from the weight of bed covers, before reaching for my phone and scrolling Facebook. It’s a morning routine that happens more often than not. Nudged by Facebook memories – a memory portal that can either make you leap for joy or bring you to your knees, depending on the memory – I tuned into a post that I wrote four years ago. It read: Dear Self, I love you whole and I always will. Suddenly, a smile curved into my cheeks.
There was a time when I was a stranger to myself. Sometimes, I was my own worst enemy. It’s hard to remember the girl I was before becoming the woman I am, remembering a bewildering existence that warped me into something manmade. Like most young girls, I was a product of cultural and religious coercion and patriarchal oppression. And like most young girls, my early learning years encompassed subjugation, manipulation, and several suitcases of abuse. Despite being raised by strong, rebellious, and independent women, women who were fundamentally progressive, fierce, and groundbreaking, it wasn’t enough of an army to tackle pious and societal tyranny.
My journey to self-love and self-acceptance was excruciating. It was an agonizing excursion that saw me rewiring everything I had come to believe. Once the breakthrough happened, when skin was shed along with clumps of hair, societal ideologies, and self-deprecation, my journey was the most glamorous makeover I’ve ever had. A glow-up to end all glowing, shimmering, and lustrous ups! Health and wellness looked good on me, the benefits furthering me in ways I hadn’t imagined. Yes, it’s a lot of work unpacking trauma, challenging the patriarchy, finding your space within the world, and investing in yourself while prioritizing wellness, however, I encourage all women to undertake the journey and its revolutionizing transformation. It’s the greatest thing you will ever do for yourself. Ever. Like, ever, ever.
Sometimes that means fighting society’s narrative that women should be self-sacrificing. Sometimes that means balling your fists and punching a colossal hole through the notion that self-advocacy is an amoral behavior steeped in selfishness. Don't feed into that enslavement. There’s nothing selfish about loving yourself. There’s nothing selfish about loving yourself enough to have healthy boundaries, conditions, and expectations for those you interact with. There’s nothing selfish about loving yourself enough that you believe in yourself, honor yourself, respect yourself, and are empowered by your own decisions. There’s nothing selfish about loving yourself enough that you set the rules for your life, taking up as much space as you desire. There’s nothing selfish about living your life in full liberation.
Whatever you’re doing today, make sure it’s pro-you.
As for me? I owe myself an art and bookstore date.
“Dear Self, I love you whole and I always will.”
(Artwork by Agnieszka Szalabska)
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